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  1. Barber and economist

    A day, a hairdresser gave a church's pastor. When the priest wanted to pay the hairdresser, the hairdresser refused. He said, "You you How can I collect your money for God? "The next day, there were 12 more Bibles in front of the barber.
    . A police officer looked for the hairdresser to send a haircut, and the hairdresser refused to charge the fee again. He said: "You protect the public, how can I collect your fee?" The next day, there were 12 more sweets in front of the hairdresser's door. lock up.
    In an economist came to the hairdresser, and the barber once again refused to charge the charge. He said, "You work for everyone's benefits, how can I collect your money?" The haircut the next day There were 12 economists at the door waiting for him to make a haircut.

    The two cows
    In the socialist system, if you have two cows, you send one to your neighbors to reflect friendship.
    Under the communist system, if you have two cows, you give them to the country, and the country supply your milk.
    Under the capitalist system, if you have two cows, you sell a cow and buy another bull with income income.

    . They are not husband and wife
    The long name for foreigners, the Chinese have always had headaches. In a class, the teacher told the students very angrily, "I told you 800 times, do you know, Karl Marx and Frieryh Engels, they are not a couple, but four different four different, but four different different, but there are four different different couples, but there are four differences in four different. Economist ".

    The queuing philosophy of the Soviet people
    Under the Soviet planned economic system, a large amount of materials are used to produce heavy industrial products (such as steel) and military substances, so the supply of people's biomass is very lacking. Under the system without the system, everyone often inquires the news. As soon as I hear where there is a product, they quickly line up to buy it, whether it is urgent now. Therefore, they are usually used to bringing large cash or shopping bags at any time to prepare from time to time.
    Kanoski is a businessman with a good family. One day when he was in get off work, he saw a long queue on the roadside, and he immediately joined the line, and then asked the person in front of him, "What kind of goods can buy today? "He told him:" I registered a car today. "After asking the price, Kanoski called and asked his wife to send the money over, and he continued to line up.
    It's turn is his turn. He carefully sent the money to the clerk. After the clerk cleared the money, he said, "Okay, you pay enough money, you can take it 10 years later to lead it today. Car. "Kanoski asked carefully:" Is it 10 years later or afternoon? "The clerk said very angry," I waited in 10 years, do you still care about the morning or afternoon? "Kanos?" Cunos "Of course, it has something to do. 10 years later, today's afternoon, water pipe workers want to come to my house to repair the dragon."

    The cost view of economists
    Economist George and his wife Maggie Every year, visit the State Aviation Expo. Every year George will say, "Maggie, I want to take the plane over there."
    Maggie every year, "I know, George, but spend $ 10 to sit in, after all, after all, after all $ 10. "
    This year, George and Maggie came to the State Airline Expo. George said: "Maggie, I'm 71 years old. If I don't take the plane again this year, I may never have a chance again."
    Maggie replied, "George, spend $ 10 to take the plane for $ 10 After all, the $ 10 is $ 10. "
    The airplane driver can no longer stand their disputes every year, so he said," Friends, I will deal with you a deal, I let you two take the plane once, If you can keep silent during the entire flight, and don't say a word, I will not collect your money, but if you say a word, you have to pay $ 10. "
    George and Maggie agreed, George and Maggie agreed, George and Maggie agreed, and both of them agreed to, George and Maggie agreed. Sitting on the plane. The pilot asked the plane to do various rolls, rotations, and dive, but did not hear the two people say one word, and the pilot repeated the above action again. It was still silent.
    The airplane landed, the pilot turned around and said to George, "Oh my god, I want to make you shout, but you just don't shout." When Ji fell off the plane, I wanted to shout, but after all, $ 10 was $ 10. "

    What did your father do? "
    I John replied," He is a doctor "
    The teacher asked several other children, and it was William's turn.
    William replied: "He is nothing to do, he is an economist!"
    The teacher finally asked Ped, his answer made the teacher a little strange: "My father plays the piano in Prudential Village."
    , the teacher went to visit home.
    The teacher of the teacher Dao Ming said, "I am an economist, but my work is so complicated. How can I explain to the seven -year -old child? "

    What is economic growth?
    The 1980 Ragan and Jimmy Carter caminated the President of the United States. The competition was very fierce, especially the economic issue is the focus of both parties. R. Reagan and Jimmy Carter said in the phone debate: "If your neighbors are unemployed, it means that the US economy is declining. If your loved ones are unemployed, it means that the economy is in depression. If Carter is unemployed, it means that the US economy will grow. "

    In the 1,000 economists
    The died of illness at a professor of economics at the University of Chicago. After depression, someone launched a" one person, one yuan "fundraising campaign to raise its funeral fee ; When a fundraising raised a donation to the chairman of the Chicago Futures Exchange, he said, "One dollar? Who died?" The fundraising person explained the original committee. R n
    The role of economists
    Mosko's red field holding a military parade.
    After the tanks, rockets and arms were arranged for the review desk, they finally were a team of civilian personnel with black uniforms.
    Russian President Yeltsin asked: "Who are they?"
    The head agents replied: "They are economists. If they need it, I can send them to the United States to ensure that they will make the US economy a mess. "

    Our food
    This chief asked:" As long as you answer two questions, I will not punish you. The first question is: Why do you create a riot and jailbreak? "
    criminal: "Because the food here is too bad."
    "The second question is: What do you use to open the door lock?"
    criminal: "bread".

    In conclusions of economists
    British Prime Minister Churchill said: "Two economists discuss one question, usually two conclusions; if one of them is a famous economist, the conclusion must be There are more than three. "

    Why are economists who are not satisfied?
    Is when everything goes smoothly, economists are still not satisfied because they need to know whether this operation is in line with economics principles.

    Children's wishes
    The 11 -year -old child in China had just celebrated his birthday. Others asked him what would he like at that time? He said: "When my birthday blows the candle, the wish of the candle is to buy the 5 million yuan prize in the lottery, and then travel around the world. Finally, I will use the remaining money to buy an official and earn the money." n
    Om of national wealth created?
    It two economists A and B walked on the road, walking, and suddenly saw a pile of shit. Economist A said to economist B: "If you can eat this pile of shit If you drop it, I will give you 1 million yuan. " Economist B was seduced by these 1 million yuan, and it really started to eat ...
    Economist A was a little anxious. He made a suggestion without waiting for B to finish eating. You don't have to finish eating it. I will give you 1 million yuan first. Let me eat the rest. After eating, you give me 1 million yuan, okay? "So the economist A finally picked this pile of this pile The shit was eaten, and Economics B gave one million yuan to economist A.
    Therefore, after these two eaten shit, the national wealth (GDP) of a country increased by 2 million yuan.

    Go Lunbu is a socialist
    The found that Gelunbu of the New World is a socialist.
    Why do you conclude such a conclusion?
    because he did not know where the destination was when he set off, and when he arrived in a place, he didn't know where he was; not only for this, his adventure was completely funded by the government. There are some accounts.

    On away from reality, sheep dogs do not distinguish
    In someone to meet shepherds on the countryside, he said to the shepherd, "I bet with you, if I guess the number of sheep in the sheep, You have a sheep, if you guess wrong, you get 100 yuan. "
    The shepherds agreed.
    The passers -by said a number, 973, the shepherd was surprised, because this was indeed the number of sheep; therefore, passers -by obtained the "prize" he deserved, worshiped the pastor, and went away.
    It can't walk two steps. The shepherd caught up and said, "Let us have an opportunity to flatten — we gamble again?"
    The passerby immediately agreed to ask the shepherd what to guess?
    The shepherd said that the identity of passers -by; passers -by had no objection.
    Peravada guessed: "You are an economist who works in the official think tank!"
    passers -by is scared. How can this shepherd know his profession?
    "This is not simple," the shepherd reveals the mystery: "Because you are holding the sheep dog instead of the sheep!"

    ! "
    The economist returned to his alma mater and taught him 20 years ago. He asked the professor to show him the test questions of college students.
    The test questions are exactly the same as when he was a student at school for 20 years.
    "Why is this?" He asked.
    The professor replied: "The problem is always the same, only the answer is changed!"

    ers of selfish economists
    engineers, chemists and economists to accompany the road, there is one In the evening, they lived in the small inn, but there was only one double room in the small inn, which was equivalent to one of them had to sleep in the firewood house.
    The engineers said bravely that he was sleeping in the firewood house; everyone went to bed. But for a while, someone knocked on the door. The chemist hurriedly got up and opened the door. The engineer came back and said that the Chai Fang had a cow, and he was an Indian. Religion did not allow him to sleep next to the Holy Cow.
    The chemist said, then let him go to the firewood house.
    less than a cup of coffee time, and the door sounded again. This time was the chemist's return. He said that a pig in the firewood house, he is a Jew, and cannot sleep as a dirty animal.
    So economists had to go to sleep.
    In minutes, there was a loud noise of kicking the door. When you opened the door, there was not an economist standing outside the door, but a cattle and a pig.

    The shopping thoughts of smart entrepreneurs
    A farmer's noise to be an entrepreneur husband to buy her a velvet hat, and the husband insisted on buying a straw hat for her. For the reason, the husband's husband explained: "Buying a straw hat is the most cost -effective. If you don't want it in the future, you can also give us the sheep that we raise as a forage."

    Einstein looked at economists
    Einstein died, ascended to heaven, waiting in line outside Nantianmen waiting to enter heaven, chatting with the three New Zealanders of the New Zealanders, and passing time. They have the following dialogue.
    Einstein Ask A, how much IQ (IQ)? A answer was 190; Einstein was very surprised: "Then we can discuss Lord E. (1871-1937, a famous British chemist, long-term hosting the world-renowned Cambridge University Cavendish) and my relativity of atomic physics. "
    This asked B with the same question, the answer was IQ150; Einstein said:" Yes, we will be able to discuss the relationship between your country's restraint and world peace. "
    The IQ of C is 50! Einstein hesitated a little: "IQ50, what do you think of the fiscal deficit of next year?"

    Economist's suggestion
    Fishermen are fishing in the original method to live the original life of the sunrise and sunset, so economists suggest: You should go to bank loans to increase equipment and expand the scale of business. Fishermen asked: What about? Economists say that after expanding scale, then accumulate capital, develop ocean fishing, and then set up a large international enterprise. Fishermen asked, what should I do? Economists say that after the company expands, you can go to college to study economic management major and let people manage the company for you, and you can go to the sea to enjoy on vacation. The fishermen replied, "Isn't this that is now?!"

    I I am a doctorate graduate of Harvard Economics
    The graduate students from Harvard University in the United States just obtained a master's degree and prepared to go outside school. Drinking and celebrating, so he "hit" and went to the car. Several new economics in the car talked well, talked about his grand future, and asked what kind of career he chose to choose? The taxi driver replied, "Brother, I graduated from Harvard's PhD in economics, and it has been five years to do this."

    In the thinking of economists
    mologist analysis and research on issues, and also an important research conclusion of economists -people have selfishness, self -interest, and self -interest, which is the self -interest. Animals, people look at problems and make decisions from their own interests. Economists himself often treats everything and analyzes problems.
    has three children in an economist and does not want to have children anymore, so he goes to consult the pastor what to do. The pastor said, "When you work with your wife ', can't you wear a condom?" Economist replied: "My first child was born after I put on a condom." The pastor said, "So In this way, can you not take some contraceptives? "Economist replied:" This is how my second child was born. "The pastor said," Then why don't you sleep with your wife, don't sleep with your wife, and don't go to bed with your wife. What about your wife's sexual life? "Economist replied:" This is how my third child was born. "

    Can't you get the lifelong teaching position of economics in college?
    After the economists listed the 10 reasons, the voices of opposition disappeared quickly. These 10 reasons were:
    1. Because he has only one book;
    2. Because he wrote with Hebrew;
    3. Because he quoted others in his works, he did not indicate the source;
    4. Because his book has not been published in the Journal of the public and recognized by economists;
    5. Economists have doubts about whether he is writing the book in person;
    6. He may have created the world, but what did he do since then?
    7. The scientific community cannot create another world in accordance with his methods;
    8. He never taught, but only asked his students to read his book;
    9. He sent his son and student to take class;
    10. He does not have a fixed office time, and often works on the top of the mountain!

    The trick of becoming an economist
    It as long as the church parrot says "supply" and "demand", then the world will have one more economist.

    The "comparative advantage" of economists
    A economist and a mathematician walking in the forest, walking, suddenly encountered a big black bear, an economist Seeing this, I was so frightened that they were unattended, and they ran away. The mathematician said, "Don't run away, we can't run the black bear!" Economist said, "Although I can't run the black bear, I can run you!"

    The IQ (IQ) of economists
    It scientists Einstein's death, big characters drove, God arranged for a grand gallery ceremony, and the three angels were waiting at Nantianmen. With this courtesy, Einstein was very excited. On the road to the hotel, he was endless. He asked A angel: "How high your IQ?" A angel replied: "201." Einstein was surprised, Tao, Tao, Tao, Tao, Tao, Tao. : "201, I will not worry about loneliness," because you are qualified to talk to me about relativity. Ask Angel B again: "How much is your IQ?" B Angel said: "150." Einstein said, "That's not bad, we can cook coffee to talk about the world." Finally asked Angel C: "Your IQ How about it? "Angel C replied:" 75! "Einstein thought for a while and said," Let's discuss economic issues. "

    Teachers and three economists accompanied.
    Mades bought three tickets. They are good at calculating, one person, one vote, three people and three votes.
    It economists do not have an embrace, and the three only buy one vote.
    This teachers know that with a glory and disaster, they are waiting for a good show, because they know that the three economists sharing a ticket will definitely be arrested by the inspection, and the fine will inevitably be fined.
    The audit to check the ticket. Economists saw him from checking the tickets one by one. When he approached, they squeezed into the bathroom; when the inspection knocked on the toilet door, an economist raised from the gap between the door. After Yang's ticket, Ji checked the ticket and walked away.
    The next day, they changed their cars. This time, mathematicians learned well, and the three bought only one vote, but economists did not even buy a vote. Mathematicians were excited because the economist was estimated to be the economist. The trip must not pass.
    Is when the inspection came from a distance, as the economist's approach yesterday, the three mathematicians squeezed into the bathroom as soon as possible, and economists followed closely. When mathematicians heard that someone knocked on the door At that time, the mathematician raised the ticket from the door crack, and the economist pretended to be an inspector and confiscated the ticket silently.
    Economists obtained this ticket and hid in another toilet. When the inspection knocked on the door, the economist raised the ticket in his hand and passed the pass, but the teachingman was fined because he had no tickets.

    The selfish economist
    The basic assumptions of economics is that everyone has "self -interest", that is, people will take corresponding countermeasures from their own interests. And an economist's objection to this, he believes that not everyone is so, for example, he is a selfish person.
    The economic scientist went to the streets by bus (bus). As soon as he got on the car, he saw a beautiful lady got up, so the economist quickly said: "You can sit down." At the next stop, the lady wanted to stand up, and the economist quickly said, "You don't have to get up." When I arrived again, the lady thought of standing up again. The economist said, "You sit down, don't want to make a seat for me," but the lady said, "Sir, I have missed three stops."

    Different points
    The two economists passing by one place and seeing two women scolding across the street.
    I Economists said that they were so powerful that they must not reach an agreement.
    I Economist to ask Economist A. Why did they have this judgment?
    I economists said that their foothold (premises, also solve the "prerequisite"), of course, it is difficult to have agreements.

    The tears of economists
    In in a jewelry shop, the cashier asked a female customer puzzled: "Madam, why is your banknote so humid?"
    The famous female customers explained: "Because my husband cried too much when he gave me the banknote."

    is correct, but useless
    The group of economists climbing the Alps in Europe. A few hours later, they fell in the jungle.
    A economist opened the map, studied carefully, took out the compass, left to the right, and looked up at the sun. Finally, "Everyone, do you see the mountains not far away?"
    everyone Qi said, "See".
    A Yangyang is contented and said: "According to the map, compass, and the sun direction, we are in front of that mountain!"

    correct but useless conclusion Traveling on the air balloon, because of the strong style, they were blown away by the wind, and they didn't know where they were.
    did they drop the balloon to about 20 meters away from the ground, and then asked a passerby loudly: "Where are we?" Passerse -by -passers -by replied: "You are in the balloon." This passerby must be an economist, because although his answer is correct, it is not useful.
    The passers -by heard the words of A and yelled, "So you must be a businessman!" Qi Yi said, "You are right, but how do you know?" passersby said, "You are in the most favorable position in the most favorable position But keep complaining! "

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